Every Morning
by mad to love
Summary: A serious look came over his face as he said, quietly, “Come with me.” MirokuSangoBankotsu.


**Author's Note:** I think I write the most in the hours when I should be asleep. Maybe that's why my hours are so messed up, oh well. This is _sort of_ a companion to _Comfort_; I even wrote it a few days after, but I didn't get around to posting it until now.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Le sigh.

**Summary: **_A serious look came over his face as he said, quietly, "Come with me." _Given the choice, will Sango abandon Miroku and the others for a certain mercenary?

* * *

Every morning, she'd wake up, make him breakfast, and then they'd go for a walk around the village. They would act as the _perfect couple_, and have the _perfect marriage_, and be the envy of all the husbands and wives.

Every morning, she would smile and wave at those offering their thanks for being part of the team that had slain the great hanyou Naraku; for being part of the ones who had finally brought them peace after many years of blood and war.

Every morning, she would turn a blind eye to the suggestive looks being passed back and forth between him and the young village women.

Every morning, the older generation would spare her pitying looks as she'd walk by with him. She wouldn't meet their eyes, and that's when she'd know her walk was over.

He wasn't as open anymore about his lecherous ways as he was before. In fact, he could've fooled even her, if the girls he took didn't have such big mouths and a knack for gossiping to eachother. They'd always stop and stare if she'd decide to walk past them. Subtlety wasn't a strong suit these days.

It was almost funny how the parents didn't _know_, or maybe they just pretended not to, as did she. As long as their children didn't get pregnant, there was no need to cause conflict amongst the villagers. Everyone said that with knowledge, you gain more of an appreciation for the world. Well, _she_ was content with the knowledge that ignorance really _was_ bliss, for it prolonged the coming storm of a quarrel that would come seeking them one day.

-

"_I'm going to change for you, my dear Sango," he said confidently._

_She sneered quietly, "Don't kid yourself, monk."_

"_I'm not. I love you, __Sango__."_

_Her breath hitched as she felt a blush stealing itself up her cheeks, "I…I love you too, Miroku."_

"_I'm going to change for you," he repeated and took her hands in his._

_-_

That had been over a year ago. She never lingered on thoughts like these; there was no sense in it. He didn't keep his word; he always was a slight bit forgetful when he used lines only once. It didn't really matter though. She didn't have anyone else to turn to; Kagome was still finishing school in her own world and wouldn't be back for another two years. She didn't know what Inuyasha was up to these days, but she could probably find him if she had really wanted to. Shippo was at Kaede's, Kohaku was dead along with the rest of her family, and…and _he_ still was too.

So it didn't matter. It didn't matter that she wasn't happy, because at least she was still alive.

She left Miroku and walked back to the house by herself. Their home wasn't big, nor was it small. But sometimes, it felt too cold, especially when he left her in the middle of the night. She had wanted the little dwelling in the next village over, with its red mahogany walls and cozy feel. It was slightly more run-down, but she didn't mind one bit. Somehow he had convinced her into getting this one instead.

She plopped down onto her side of the bed, the side imprinted with the shadow of her form. It was easy to distinguish; the other side looked brand new.

She wondered vaguely where Kirara was, she was disappearing more and more often and for longer periods of time. This worried her, for Kirara still listened to her uncertainties and mewed comfortingly at the appropriate times. She was still her friend. Sango hoped desperately her little neko wasn't going to abandon her too.

She hated being alone. She always felt silence suffocated her too easily; how it drew her back into her memories too quickly. How it made her remember what her life used to be like.

-

_He crawled up to her and laid his head in her lap, "You know something, ninja? That monk doesn't deserve you."_

_She smiled softly, brushing the hair from his forehead, "Oh? And why's that?"_

"_Well, you need somebody strong; somebody who'll protect you. And he'll need to be good to you…faithful, I mean."_

"_What makes you think I need protecting? And what has got you so sure Miroku will cheat?" she lowered her voice just faintly and added, "And how do you know I even want to be with him?"_

_A look of surprise came over his face at her last remark, but was wiped away a second later. She smirked as she continued, "Fine, then who are you suggesting?"_

_He sat up and leaned his head beside hers against the trunk of the tree, "Someone who'll support you."_

"_Sounds a lot like you mean yourself."_

_It was his turn to smirk, "Let's not get carried away, taijiya. By 'support', I mean both emotional-wise and money-wise. I can't promise you I'll always be there for either."_

_-_

She was snapped from her thoughts as she heard her husband come home; laughter filling the house. She hadn't realized she had dozed off; it had to be around mid-evening already. It served her right though, she hadn't slept well for months. She got up to go greet Miroku, when she heard another voice. A female one. They seemed to be whispering and hushing eachother in ironically loud tones as they bustled up the stairs. Sango went to the doorway, watching them stumble and bump into the cold, blank white walls. Miroku stopped when he saw her, and immediately let go of the woman at his side.

"Sango! What a wonderful surprise it is to see you! I thought you were out with Kirara!"

"Save it, monk. Who's this girl?"

"Oh, her? She's just a friend, I'm sure you've seen her around...Yuki, that's her name, yes!" his words were slurring into the others as he staggered up to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

She pushed him off of her, "Get away from me, Miroku! You're drunk. Go to bed." _'But that's probably what you were thinking of doing anyhow with this...' _She didn't bother finishing her thought.

"But what about Yuki? And what about you?" he still look dazed as he leaned up against the wall.

"We'll both manage fine without you. Get some sleep," she rolled her eyes and pushed him into the bedroom, closing the door as she came back out.

Yuki was already slumped against the wall, asleep. She sighed as Sango picked her up and brought her down the staircase.

"He doesn't care about you, you know," came an almost-silent whisper from the girl in her arms.

Sango dropped her roughly on the couch and narrowed her eyes, "What did you say?"

But Yuki's soft snores already indicated it was no use.

'_No matter, she's not staying in my house though.' _She promptly woke the sleeping girl, and told her to go home.

Rubbing her head, Yuki walked out with one last glance towards Sango. With a look almost identical to the ones she got from the elders in the village.

Sango decided to make herself comfortable on the couch, hoping she might get a good night's rest tonight. _'Maybe I'll even hear Kirara come home.' _She made sure to face the window as best as possible, so if the cat demon couldn't find a way in, at least she'd hear her tapping.

-

"_You almost killed us!" she nearly screeched, her eyes wild, "You're lucky you escaped with only a sacred arrow to the arm!"_

"_Shh, shh," he placed a finger to her lips, "What, did you expect me to go easy on Inuyasha?"_

"_You didn't have to send lightning after all of us!"_

"_You think I _**enjoyed**_ hurting you, Sango?" he hissed back, "You think I took pride in your lying motionless on the ground like that?"_

_They glowered at eachother for a moment, when her eyes softened, as she said quietly, "How's your wrist?"_

"_Alright," he grinned, stealing a sudden kiss from her before she could protest, "I know how you could make it better, though."_

_Her glare was instantly put back in place, "Oh yeah, as long as you promise not to kill any of my friends."_

"_Sango," he said warningly, his grin dropping, "you know I can't–"_

"_Because it's your answer to everything! Why am I even here again?"_

_When he didn't answer, she continued heatedly, "Why am I here when you said you couldn't be _'there' _for me?" _'Why am I getting my hopes up over you, a mercenary, of all people? And why the hell do I lo–'

"_Because I _did_ end up coming! I just meant...I meant things won't always be like this. You know things will end badly if our comrades find out."_

"_Then we shouldn't do this," she said bluntly, turning away from him._

_He grabbed her shoulder, "Hey, hey, taijiya. If you don't want to do this, it's your decision. I didn't say I would've minded if they _did_ find out."_

_Damn that smirk of his. Arrogant bastard._

_She looked away, but her voice was firm, "Well, I'd mind. I don't want to do this anymore."_

"_You don't mean that, Sango."_

"_You just said it was my decision! And what do you know? You're a murderer! You've killed thousands without blinking…without remorse! I can't risk having 'feelings' for a person like you!"_

_He suddenly grasped her chin and forced her to look at him, "Is that how you really feel? You think I don't care about you because I can't? Because I've killed before without feeling?" his voice was low, dangerous._

_She offered no response, merely glared at him._

"_Is it?" he asked gruffly._

"_I…I don't know," she whispered, pushing him away._

"_Then fine, you get your way. Go back to your monk."_

_She looked at him; she'd never heard his voice so cold before. His fists were clenched as he stared at a spot a little above her head. She approached him, but stopped abruptly when his face snapped back down to her._

"_Bankotsu…"_

"_Go back to your monk, Sango," he repeated, his blue eyes hard, unreadable._

_She stayed rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do. She didn't want to leave him, not with things like this between them._

_He suddenly laughed, a hollow laugh, out loud, "You'll just be his whore. He'll never be happy with just you, you know."_

"_Don't," she said quietly. Half of her knew he was right, the other half tried to keep faith in the houshi._

"_Don't what? Speak the truth? Is that what you want, too? To be ignorant? To hide behind a veil of li–"_

_She slapped him. She was tired of him calling her out to everything that wasn't his business. He didn't flinch when she did it, didn't even reach up to rub his now-burning flesh. She didn't dare look up, but she could feel his stare burning into the top of her head. His hand cupped her chin again; she lifted her eyes up to his._

"_I'm so–" she started._

_His mouth was on hers quicker than before she could catch her breath, rough and bruising. She struggled against him, pounding on his chest to let go. He backed her up against a tree, and without breaking contact, pinned her wrists above her head._

"_Bankotsu…" she breathed, allowing him entrance as his tongue swept the warm cavern of her mouth._

_-_

There was a sudden mewing in her ear. She opened her eyes and groaned at the notice of the morning sunlight. _'At least Kirara's back,'_ she thought, smiling.

She reluctantly decided to go check on Miroku, just to see how much pain he was in from his hangover. She knocked softly on the bedroom door and went inside.

"Hey, how're you feeling?"

He groaned, rolling over, he mumbled, "Not very good."

She gazed at him sympathetically, "Well, do you want me to ge–"

"Where's Yuki?"

"Yu–? Oh, her," Sango's voice hardened. "She went home last night."

"If she comes back, tell her I'm–" he stopped at the abrupt slamming of the door, "Sango?"

But she was gone.

'_The nerve of him!'_ she thought angrily, her feet pounding as she ran down the side path to the nearby lake. _'He has no shame whatsoever, the lecher!'_

There was a field by the lake she was headed to, a field of flowers. It was similar to the one Kohaku had known about close to their old village, achingly enough. Maybe that's why she treasured it so much.

She was out of breath by the time she got there, flopping down under the shade of her favourite tree. Sighing at the peaceful scenery, she laid her head down. She remembered showing this place to Miroku once, and he commented, saying it was _beautiful, just like __**her**_. She snorted at the recollection, obviously he preferred other _beautiful_ women to nature…and her.

'_**He**__ would've never done this to you,'_ a small voice said in her head.

'_Well, he's not here now, is he? He'll never be, so there,'_ another voice argued back.

Sango hated all these memories she had of the dead mercenary. He haunted her every waking thought; reminding, and making her regret her marriage to Miroku. It made her loathe that she ever got involved with him, because he had given her options. He had opened another door to her future for her, one without her current husband. And frankly, it had scared her a bit.

She closed her eyes, and her chest clenched painfully, _'Maybe I should've gone with him that day.'_

-

_She awoke to his heavy breathing as she slid her head off his chest._

"_Honestly, just tell me what's so fascinating about me that you have to keep staring," she said, rolling her eyes and laid herself on the patch of grass beside him._

_He laughed softly, "You look so peaceful when you sleep taijiya, nobody would ever know just how wild you are when you're awake."_

_He leaned his head onto her shoulder while she asked, "What time is it?"_

"_Oh, I don't know," he mused, his breath warm against her bare skin, "early morning?"_

_She snapped up, knocking him over as she did so, "Damn it! I have to get back, they'll be so worried." She looked around immediately for her clothing, collecting them and dressing as quickly as possible._

_He watched her with a lazy look in his eyes, almost amused at how rushed she was._

_She had just grabbed her Hiraikotsu when he called, "So I guess this is it then, slayer?"_

_She stopped, _'Oh…**yeah**.'

_Putting down her boomerang, she turned to him; lips pursed, and didn't answer. Gods, after making it clear she didn't want this…okay, she lied._

_His smug grin was apparent, "Having second thoughts, are we? I knew you couldn't resist me."_

_She opened her mouth to snap something furiously back, but closed it again. _'What _did_ she want?'

_A serious look came over his face as he said, quietly, "Come with me."_

"…_What?"_

"_Come with me. Leave the monk and the half-breed and the rest, and stay."_

"_I…I can't do that. I have to kill Nara–"_

"_Then we will. Just stay with me."_

_She looked surprised, "You'd kill Naraku?"_

"_Well, yeah. He did destroy your village, didn't he?" he said casually. "And it's not like I trust the guy anyway. Plus, I get to keep the jewel shards."_

_He saw the hesitation lined in her features, "Please?"_

_She bit her lip, unsure of what to do. He was almost pleading with her, and she wanted to. Gods, did she want to. But…she couldn't just leave the others. Not like this, not when they didn't know anything about her relationship with Bankotsu. And Miroku…what about him? _'Well, what about him?'_ she questioned herself._

_Swallowing, she asked, "What about Inuyasha?"_

"_I'll kill him."_

"_You'll what?"_

"_I said I would. And I have to avenge my brothers. Maybe I'll even go for the monk as extra credit."_

_**Bastard**__._

"_No! If you expect me to leave with you, then you can't just turn around and slaughter them! They're my __**friends**__."_

_He looked away, "I'm sorry, but that's the way it has to be."_

"_You're choosing revenge over me?"_

"_And you're choosing your friends over me!"_

"_How is that a bad thing?"_

"_Because I love you!" he stopped abruptly and snapped his mouth shut._

_She closed her eyes again, _'No. He couldn't. What a way to complicate things. But…but he couldn't just use love as an answer. As much as it hurt.'

"_I love you too," she whispered, and seeing hope suddenly flicker in his cobalt eyes, she added quickly, "but I can't go with you. I'm sorry, Bankotsu." He saw her face break as her heart tightened in her chest. _

"_I'm sorry," she whispered again._

"_I said it was your decision, I didn't lie about that. I've never lied to you," he said quietly, looking away. "But I believe I at least deserve a reason why."_

_She struggled with her words, biting her lip again, and ended up flinging her arms helplessly._

_He frowned, throwing a pitied look at her, "It's because you love the monk, isn't it."_

"_No! I don't, I…" a she felt like such a stuttering idiot, she never had problem with words before. And how dare he feel __**sorry**__ for her? There was nothing to be sorry about!_

"_What I don't get, however, is why you would lie about your feelings for me, if you truly do love him."_

'Was that it, then? Did she love them both? How is that possible?'

_When she didn't answer, he chuckled to himself, "Well then, taijiya, I have a confession of my own to make. I lied about loving you, too. You see, I figured I could use you as bait to get to Inuyasha."_

_She didn't gasp, and other than the flash of shock that was gone as quickly as it had come, she didn't react. It __**hurt**__, though. It hurt a lot._

"_I was going to kidnap the other girl, since he obviously cared for her deeply, he didn't know it of course. But she was under too heavy a watch from him, and you seemed more of the quiet type. The type to go out alone at night for no reason. Turns out I was right." His laughs filled the air around them, squeezing the air out of her._

"_You bastard," she murmured, willing herself from the tears that were threatening to form. "So this was just a nasty trick for your own benefit?"_

_He smirked, "Well, I'm sure you benefitted from it too, if you know what I mean."_

_Shaking with utter rage, she went up to him and raised her hand to slap him. After a moment, she clenched her hand and brought it back down to her side, hissing, "You aren't worth it, murderer."_

_She picked her Hiraikotsu back up, and thought about killing him right then and there. No. She'll just let Inuyasha handle him. She started walking away when she heard his voice yet again._

"_Be glad I decided not to bring my companion last night, or else I would not have hesitated to use it. Women like you are so easy to manipulate."_

_She didn't reply, didn't even turn back for one last look. Sango didn't know that was the last time she'd ever see him, ever hear his voice. _**'I loved you.'**

_Watching her disappear into the distance, Bankotsu went and searched behind some bushes._

'Ah, there you are.'_ He hitched his halberd onto his shoulder and let out a small breath, thinking about the woman he just turned away. _**'I love you too.'**

-

She still loved him. In a perverse sort of way. She wondered though, if she did somehow end up marrying the mercenary, whether it'd be any better than her current situation. After all, his sudden change of heart broke hers, and traveling to Mt. Hakurei with Miroku had been so…_liberating_. He died anyway. What was there to regret? Even if she had gone with him that morning, she would've still been crushed in the long run.

She thought of Miroku. He was good to her, really, he was. Except for the other women, he was amazing. It could be much worse, she supposed. She could have ended up with somebody…somebody who didn't love her. Even if said somebody had survived.

Every morning, she thought about her old flame, the one that refused to be extinguished. The one she mourned for.

Every morning, she saw his face in the ones whose looks of pity followed her everywhere.

Every morning, her heart broke all over again, with each look and each woman.

Every morning, she wondered if she'd made the right choice.


End file.
